💘Are You Missing Them… or Just Missing Being Chosen?

Sometimes we don’t miss the person — we miss the feeling of being someone’s person.

There’s a specific kind of emotional confusion that shows up this time of year.

You think you miss them.

You think you want to text them.

You think maybe you “overreacted” or “gave up too soon.”

But if we slow the moment down—gently, kindly, like adults who’ve been here before—something else is usually happening.

You don’t miss them.

You miss feeling chosen.

The Difference We Don’t Talk About Enough

Missing a person feels like:

• remembering conversations

• missing how you felt around them

• wanting a connection with that specific human

Missing being chosen feels like:

• checking your phone more than usual

• suddenly thinking about exes who weren’t aligned

• wondering who else is being taken to dinner

One is connection.

The other is comparison.

And February is very good at stirring up the second one.

Why This Happens Right Now

Valentine’s season turns love into a public event.

Even if you don’t care about the holiday, your brain still notices:

• couple photos

• date talk

• plans being made

And without you consciously choosing it, your nervous system whispers:

“Am I behind?”

That question has nothing to do with compatibility.

It has everything to do with visibility.

Here’s the Sneaky Part

When we feel unchosen, we don’t always seek alignment.

We seek relief.

Relief looks like:

• texting someone familiar

• revisiting “almost” relationships

• romanticizing people we already knew weren’t right

Not because they changed.

But because being chosen feels like proof.

Proof you’re wanted.
Proof you’re lovable.
Proof you’re not alone.

That’s human.

It’s just not a good decision-making strategy.

Humor Break (Because We Need It)

If your brain has recently said:

“Maybe he wasn’t that bad…”

Please know:
That’s not closure talking.

That’s February talking.

And February is emotionally dramatic.

A Simple Self-Check

Before reaching out, ask:

• Do I miss our connection — or just not being anyone’s priority right now?

• Would I want this relationship in March?

• Did this person actually meet my needs… or just my loneliness?

Answers get clearer when the calendar disappears.

The Truth We Don’t Always Like

Feeling unchosen is uncomfortable.

But choosing someone just to avoid that feeling almost always leads to the wrong choice.

And nothing makes you feel less chosen than being in the wrong relationship.

Tiny Truth to Take With You

Loneliness passes.
Misalignment lingers.

Closing Thought

You are not behind.

You are not late.

And you do not need to rush into the wrong connection to quiet a temporary feeling.

The right person won’t just choose you because it’s February.

They’ll choose you because it’s you.

💜
Louise