LOUISE’S LOVE LETTER

EDITION 38:

Can We Stop Trying to Improve Everything? 😂

☀️ TODAY'S OBSERVATION

Apparently, being a reasonably functional adult is no longer enough. We must now optimize.

Our sleep.

Our steps.

Our water.

Our morning routines.

Our evening routines.

Our finances.

Our relationships.

Our boundaries.

Our protein.

Even resting has somehow acquired goals.

At this rate, I'm expecting my coffee to ask me where I see myself in five years.

Hey, Friend

I have a confession.

I like improvement.

I like learning.

I like figuring things out.

Give me a problem and enough time, and eventually I'll have a plan, a list, and maybe a backup list in case something happens to the first list.

But lately I've been wondering...

Can we stop trying to improve everything?

Because somewhere between I'd like to grow and I need a twelve-step morning routine before I'm qualified to face Tuesday...

we may have gotten a little carried away.

💜 WHEN DID FUN NEED A BUSINESS PLAN?

Remember hobbies?

Those things we used to do just because we enjoyed them?

Now, when you tell somebody you make candles, within four minutes they're asking:

"Have you thought about selling those?"

No.

Maybe I just want my house to smell good.

You can paint badly.

Sing loudly.

Grow one surprisingly aggressive tomato plant.

Make jewelry nobody wants to buy.

Joy does not need a revenue stream.

💜 WHEN DID REST BECOME A REWARD?

Here's one I know too well:

"I'll sit down as soon as I finish..."

Famous last words.

Because the laundry has friends.

The dishes reproduce overnight.

And emails can sense when you're about to relax.

There will always be one more thing.

Rest is not something you earn by completing adulthood.

Sometimes you can just sit down.

I checked.

💜 WHEN DID WE BECOME OUR OWN FIXER-UPPER?

There is always something we can work on.

That's called being human.

But there's a difference between wanting to grow and walking around with an imaginary clipboard, documenting everything that's wrong with you.

Friend...

Put down the clipboard.

You can work on yourself and still like yourself while the work is underway.

💜 AND CAN WE PLEASE DISCUSS RELATIONSHIP RESEARCH?

Oh, we're thorough now.

We analyze the text.

Then the punctuation in the text.

Then how long it took them to send the text.

Then we send screenshots to the committee.

The committee meets.

Minutes are taken.

A follow-up meeting is scheduled.

And after all that...sometimes the most useful question is still:

How does this person actually treat me?

No spreadsheet required.

💜 THIS WEEK ON THE BLOG

This week, Louise went to the boardwalk.

There are Ferris wheels.

Funnel cake.

Cotton candy.

A ridiculously oversized stuffed animal.

And one very important question:

Does everything we enjoy really need to lead somewhere?

Sometimes the answer is no.

Sometimes the funnel cake is just the funnel cake.

And that may be enough.

👉 Read the full post here: GO TO BLOG.

💜 A LITTLE LOUISE LOGIC

If every minute of your life is devoted to becoming a better version of yourself...

when does the current version get to come out and play?

She seems nice.

Maybe invite her

🌞 QUICK QUIZ

Have You Accidentally Turned Your Life Into Homework?

Give yourself one point for every Yes.

Have you researched something so thoroughly that you were too exhausted to actually do it?

Have you postponed resting until you finished "just one more thing"?

Have you ever turned something you loved doing into something you felt obligated to do?

Have you analyzed a text message longer than it took the other person to write it?

Have you ever made a to-do list that included something you'd already done just so you could cross it off?

0–1 point:
Who are you, and can you teach a class?

2–3 points:
You're doing fine. Put the clipboard down occasionally.

4–5 points:
Friend...

Back away from the planner.

Nobody make any sudden movements.

😂 A QUICK REALITY CHECK (WITH A SMILE)

We now have devices that can tell us:

how long we slept,

how deeply we slept,

how many times we woke up,

and whether we slept correctly.

I remember when the morning sleep assessment was:

"Did I sleep?"

"Yes."

"Excellent."

We've complicated things.

💜THE WELL MOMENT

W — Worthy: You are worthy now, not when you've finally perfected yourself.

E — Emotionally Available: Experience your life instead of analyzing every minute of it.

L — Loving: Growth works better when it comes from caring for yourself rather than criticizing yourself.

L — Looking with Intention: Know what matters, make thoughtful choices, and leave room for a little fun.

💥 LOUISE'S TRUTH BOMB

You can be a work in progress and still enjoy the view.

Read that again

💜 PASS IT ON

Know somebody who's working very hard at becoming a better human? Forward this Love Letter and remind them they're already a pretty good one.

And if they're currently color-coding their self-improvement goals...maybe send it twice

💜 ONE LAST THOUGHT

Keep growing.

Keep learning.

Keep becoming.

But don't get so busy building a better life that you forget to enjoy the perfectly good one happening right now.

You don't have to finish working on yourself before you're allowed to enjoy yourself.

The person you're becoming matters.

But so does the person who's already here.

Give her some credit.

Give her an afternoon off.

Maybe even give her some funnel cake.

She's earned absolutely nothing.

That's the point.

With love, laughter, and no measurable productivity whatsoever,

Louise 💜

Author of Stop Dating the Wrong Letters
www.2-oys.com